How Old Is Too Old?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

By Rachel Hoeing, Triad MOM

My first child was a boy, so since he was born, I have always taken him into the Ladies’ Restroom with me when we are out in public. He just turned six, and I guess I got so used to doing this that it never really crossed my mind that there will come a point when he needs to go into the Men’s Room alone. My family went out for dinner a few months ago, and when I got up to use the restroom my son said he had to go as well, so we trotted off together to the ladies room. When we got back my husband immediately said, “You can’t do that anymore! He is way too old to be in there with you!” For the first time I had to stop and think, “How old is too old?”

When I told Katie I wanted to write about this, her first response was, “I have to tell you the truth … it creeps me out to see six-year-old boys in the women’s bathroom.” But then I told her my side and explained that my fear is sending him in to the Men’s bathroom alone and running into the psychopath who is just sitting there waiting for an innocent little boy to waltz in! She said she’d never thought about that since her son is still small enough to accompany her and no one really notices. Do I think Mr. Creepy Man is waiting in the restroom at a fine dining restaurant? Probably not … but, when we are at the park or the mall, I truly do have that fear. I have heard stories of men exposing themselves to young boys in the bathrooms and it scares me to death.

I am pretty far from being an over-protective mom, and sometimes I think I have raised my kids to almost be TOO independent, but this is one situation where I really need help. I am guessing I just need to start standing next to the bathroom door and sending my son in to use the restroom as quickly as possible. I don’t know what other option I have. So please share! When did you start letting your son use the Men’s Restroom without an adult?

Now this leads me to many other questions where I wonder “How old is too old?” I am going to preface this now by saying that some of these questions can get very touchy and I know some readers will get very opinionated about them. So please keep your comments nice and respect the views of others. After all, some of us really do have justifiable reasons behind why we do things! This also goes for children who have special needs. There are often times where they may need extra help and should not be judged.

How old is too old to …

Bathe with a sibling of the opposite sex?
See their parents nude?
Need help getting dressed?
Watch Barney?
Breastfeed?
Be rocked to sleep?
Wear longalls and shortalls?
Wear smocked clothes?
Use a pacifier?
Be walked into their classroom by mom or dad?
Ride in a stroller?
Have their parents cut up their food?
Trick or treat?
Still take a bath instead of a shower?
Still be wearing diapers?

Lots of thought provoking questions here, folks! So, weigh in with your answers and let us know !

Comments
Karen commented on 26-Feb-2011 09:52 AM
My sons are 6 and 7 and I still take them with me into the restroom when in public. I can't stand the thought of leaving them out in a store alone. At least women have their own stalls where my boys won't see anything they shouldn't!
Karen commented on 26-Feb-2011 10:13 AM
My sons are 6 and 7 and I still take them with me into the restroom when in public. I can't stand the thought of leaving them out in a store alone. At least women have their own stalls where my boys won't see anything they shouldn't!
Anonymous commented on 27-Feb-2011 09:33 AM
I'll chime in on the longalls and shortalls for boys - my opinion is that after age two these should be given away! Big boys in those outfits make me sad!!!
Anonymous commented on 19-Mar-2011 07:53 PM
I was told by my sister in law that in her home town walmart in NJ there was a man waiting in the men's bathroom and forcing little boys to give him oral sex. A boy came out and his mother noticed that he was upset and was able to report and the police caught this pedifiler. By checking the camera footage they were able to see that he would go out to his car and change shirts and then go back to the restroom. My sister in law does not know how many victims there were. Her boys are ten and eleven and they go with her to the bathroom now.
Anonymous commented on 23-Aug-2011 03:35 PM
Ugh! I looked this up becuse there were 2 little boys, 4 and 6, accompanying mom to the restroom at my workplace (it is a large church) just as I was leaving my stall. I was a little aghast. While she took little sister into one stall, the boys started
peaking in all the other stalls (no ones else was in the bathroom). I just find it very inappropriate for children that can articulate as well as they can to be going in w/mom to the ladies' room. I didn't have any boys of my own, but at some point, unfortunately,
you have to tell your little ones to watch out for creeps. I know people just want to keep their children innocent for as long as possible, but you have to realize what world we live in! My sister-in-laws stopped when their boys were 4.

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