by Allison Carter

My mom was pretty amazing. She had a military-officer-turned-airline-pilot husband who was away a lot and 3 little children.  And, with the help of the occasional glass of Franzia white zin out of a box in our fridge, she raised us all so gracefully.  Now that I have 2 little ones of my own I constantly think: How did she do it? 

For example: how in the WORLD did she and my dad travel with all 3 of us and stay as 1 family of 5 in 1 hotel room.  This past Saturday night my boys and I ran down to Wilmington, NC and spent the night in a 1 bedroom condo unit.  It was terrible.  Horrendous.

If you had had access to a time lapse camera in our living room you would have seen the following:

• 6:30 pm: Infant goes in to other room, Parents and Toddler sit on fold out Murphy Bed to eat a take out dinner
• 7:00 pm: Toddler goes in to back bedroom with Infant, Parents watch tv 
• 9:00 pm: Parents fall asleep on Murphy Bed (nothing else exciting to see, promise)

 Then...

• 12:30 am Toddler comes out to go to the bathroom, Mom goes to help
• 1:00 am Toddler comes out; Toddler eats a granola bar on Murphy Bed with Mom standing by (she appears to be sleeping while standing) and Dad sleeping
• 1:30 am Dad goes back
• 2:00 am Mom goes in to back bedroom, Dad comes out, Toddler comes out - Toddler and Dad get in to Murphy Bed
• 2:30 am Dad & Toddler sleep in Murphy Bed, Mom sits on floor in corner of room reading blogs on her phone
• 3:00 am Mom goes in to back bedroom
• 3:15 am Mom comes out of back bedroom to get bottle
• 3:20 am Mom goes to back bedroom with bottle

& then....

• 3:45 am Mom comes out of back bedroom, Dad goes in to back bedroom, Mom gets in to Murphy Bed with Toddler
• 4:00 am Mom goes in to back bedroom
• 4:10 am Mom comes out of back bedroom with Infant (who is wide awake and smacking her in the face), Dad comes out of back bedroom, takes Toddler who is fake-sleeping in to back bedroom
• 4:11 am Mom and Infant turn on the light and Infant proceeds to play
• 4:45 am Mom stands in the dark over Infant in crib that is now in living room hallway, rubbing his cheek (she appears to be sleeping while standing again) 
• 5:15 am Mom thumps down hard diagonally on Murphy Bed (which now has no sheets or pillows given Infant playtime) and you can see drool coming out

THEN...

• 6:30 am Mom goes over to crying, wide awake Infant
• 7:30 am Mom tries hotel room coffee, gags, throws it out, and bundles Infant up in stroller
• 8:00 am Mom comes back with Infant, coffee conspicuously lacking
• 8:01 am Infant sobbing
• 8:08 Mom leaves with Infant again
• 8:15 am Dad and Toddler come out from back bedroom

My mom and dad stayed with all of us kids in a hotel room that didn't even have that back bedroom - all the time - and there were FIVE of us.

Please tell me there is a better way.  Please tell me how you do it because as of right now DH and I have vowed never to leave our house with our children again.  Ever.